Sweet Simplicity
Chapter 1
She was tired. She had spent most of her life striving for good to overcome evil. She risked her life countless times to save innocents with whom she had no previous connection. And somewhere along the line, she had lost herself. She had become numb to the outside world. She had become so desperate to feel anything that she had used a vampire like some kind of life size sex toy. She felt dirty, ashamed, and lost. And she wanted it to end. Now.
---
“Don’t walk away from me, Will. Not now.” The blonde let out a sigh of relief when she saw the redhead halt her steps. Buffy walked up to her best friend slowly and said in a soft voice, “I need you to do this for me.” She added with more conviction, “And to save the world.”
Willow laughed harshly, “You want me to kill you to save the world?”
“You’re not killing me, Will. You’re just not bringing me back.”
“Buffy, we can fight this. We can’t just give up. We can beat it. I know we can.”
“It’s the First Evil. It’s always going to be there. There’s no way to just ‘beat’ it. This is a fight that we just have to lose.” Buffy paused for a moment, “Or we can prevent it from ever happening. This could work, Will. But I *need* you to help me.”
“You’re asking me to leave you dead, Buffy. My best friend. *You* are my *best* friend and this past year has been tough but we can get through it. We *have* gotten through it. You can’t just expect me to pretend like we don’t have a solution to the problem. Don’t give up, Buffy. Please.” Willow blinked away the tears and waited for Buffy’s response.
The blonde began in a deadly calm voice, “I’m the Slayer. And the Slayer is *always* alone. In a way, we’re merely objects, used to protect the world against evil and now, the world needs protecting and there are sacrifices that need to be made. I’m not giving up, Will. I’m making a sacrifice.”
“And what if I don’t agree to this sacrifice that you’re so willing to make?”
“You have no choice. You have to do it. Or would you rather spend the next few months watching your friends slowly dying away and knowing that you could’ve done something to prevent it?” Buffy saw the way Willow flinched at her words and softened her tone, “There’s no easy way out of this, Will. We just have to do what we have to do.”
“Do what we have to do,” Willow repeated. They stood there in silence for a few moments before the redhead spoke up again in a small voice, “I-I don’t.. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this, Buff.”
“You are.” Buffy smiled softly at her, “I believe in you, Will. And right now, I need you to do the same for me and *believe* me when I say that this is the only choice we have left and it’s what has to be done.”
When Willow finally looked up, their eyes met in a silent agreement. She could do this. She *had* to do this.
---
Buffy walked the streets of Sunnydale, enjoying the bustling of crowds and the warm caress of the sunshine mixed in with the cool breeze. It was a perfect day, to put it simply, but her thoughts quickly drifted off towards darker areas. It was her last day and she wanted nothing more but enjoy the sweet pleasures of life before she left. For the past week, she had laid off on the patrolling and fighting the baddies. You’d think the rest of gang would find her sudden change of demeanor concerning but they were too busy being grateful for getting a break after all the things they had been going through.
The Slayer spent her free time catching up on all that she had missed, all that she had blinded herself to or neglected. For that week, the only thing she worried about was being a sister, a friend, and just an ordinary woman. For that week, she finally got the normalcy that she craved.
A smile crept onto the blonde’s face when she saw the ice cream shop only a few steps away. Perfect.
---
Willow smiled softly when she heard the sound of Buffy’s laughter. Before this past week, it had been a rare occurrence. To the rest of them, the oblivious ones, things seemed to be looking up. It was almost surreal because only she and Buffy knew the truth. They were the only ones who knew the lie behind the smiles and the secret that was just too big to let slip.
The redhead walked into the room, drawing everyone’s attention.
“Hey Willow!” Dawn chirped, “Guess what?” The teen was nearly ecstatic with joy.
She looked at the bouncing teen and plastered a grin onto her face, “What is it, Dawnie?”
“Buffy’s letting me go on a shopping spree. $200 dollars!! You wanna come with?”
“Umm, maybe next time, Dawnie. You know me, shopping, ughhh.” Willow faked a disgusted face and tried to keep her tone light, knowing that there wouldn’t *be* a next time.
“Alright, you said it!” The teen pointed a warning finger at her, “So you better keep your word.”
“I will,” she smiled warmly. Willow turned to Buffy and gave her a look that made the blonde’s smile flitter away.
“Ok, me and Will are gonna go get some groceries. We’ll be back in a few.” Buffy slid off the chair and gave Dawn a quick kiss on the forehead. “Can we take your car, Xan?”
Xander threw his keys at her and Buffy caught them with a smile, “Thanks.”
“No prob, oh, and get me some ho-hos!”
The blonde nodded her head affirmatively and followed Willow out the door.
---
“What is it?” Buffy asked calmly, not liking the silence that was between them.
“This is gonna be hard, Buff.”
“This type of thing always is.”
“How can you do it, Buffy?” Willow turned to face her, her green eyes sad.
Buffy’s grip tightened on the wheel, “Do what?”
“Don’t, Buffy, not now,” The redhead pleaded.
She let out a sigh, “I know that things will be better this way.”
“You don’t know that, Buff,” Willow said, adamantly, “You *can’t* know that.”
“Anything is better then what’s to come, Will.” Buffy replied, coldly. “Anything is better then seeing the ones you love die, slowly, one by one, and *knowing* that you were the cause of it.”
Buffy sighed again, hating to have to put her best friend through this. “I’m sorry, Will. I’m sorry for having you do this. You know that if I could do this myself, I would. But I can’t. I’m helpless, yet again. And right now, I need you. More then anything, I need you. You can’t give up on me. Please.”
“I already made a promise to you, and I’ll keep it. But that doesn’t mean I will stop trying to convince you otherwise.”
“It’s useless, Will. My mind’s made up.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Tomorrow night.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you’re so sure, then tomorrow afternoon, we do the spell.”
Buffy looked at the setting sun, memorizing her last glimpse of a sunset and said firmly, “Okay.”
---
“Dawn?” Buffy knocked gently against the teen’s door, “Can we talk?”
“What is it? Don’t tell me, another apocalypse?”
The Slayer let out a small laugh, “No, I just wanna talk. You know, that whole sister-to-sister bonding thing.”
“You wanna bond.. with me?” Dawn looked at her suspiciously, “Why?”
Buffy rolled her eyes, “Alright, brat, you can stop teasing me anytime now.”
Dawn pouted as she said, “Fine, take away my fun. I see how it is!”
“Oh please.”
---
Willow stared at Buffy intensely, as if daring her to turn back.
“Okay, let’s do this.”
The redhead sighed and stared down at the piece of paper with the spell it. She was tempted to rip it into pieces. It was the only thing standing in the way of full prevention. Willow looked up into Buffy’s hazel eyes, truly seeing into them.
Her eyes shone with hope, love, and determination. And with that glance, Willow knew that destroying the spell was just not an option. She had to do this.
But all of a sudden, the moisture left her throat and it became hard to breathe.
“Will? Are you ok?”
“Fine,” Willow assured. She began softly, “Advenio.” She looked at Buffy, blinking back tears and saw the silent plea in the hazel eyes. The witch cleared her throat and began her spell again.
“Advenio Acclinis Advenio
Accipio Adhuc
Abeo Cuicuimodi Deduco
Abduco Adicio Mecastor Abstineo
Commutabilis”
A rush of wind filled the room and Willow found a sudden new rush of power as she yelled out the final word to the spell, “Autem!”
She looked to Buffy, their eyes meeting one last time before Willow faded off into unconsciousness.
---
“Willow! Will! Come on, sleepyhead! Get up!” A voice yelled and then mumbled, “And you say *I’m* hard to wake.”
Green eyes opened slightly, adjusting to the sudden intrusion of brightness. “Dawnie?”
“Come on, Will!” Dawn whined, “You *promised* you and William would teach me self-defense lessons today! Get up!!”
<I promised what?> Willow groaned and turned the other way, “Just a couple more minutes, Dawnie.”
Dawn fumed at the lack of response she was getting, well, the response that *she* wanted at least. She flung the covers off the bed and jumped onto the unsuspecting redhead’s body and began to tickle her.
Willow giggled and tried to push the teen away but Dawn wouldn’t budge, “Alright! Alright! I’m awake.”
“Good! Now go take a shower and get dressed. I’ll meet you downstairs in 30 minutes.”
---
Willow crawled off the bed and stumbled her way into the bathroom, or at least, what she thought was the bathroom. Instead of the normal Summer’s fully-furnished bathroom, she got.. a guestroom. “Huh?”
After searching and opening a few more doors, she finally managed to find the correct room. When she was done with her shower, she came back into her room, completely puzzled. Not only was the bathroom out of place but so were the towels. It had taken her nearly 10 minutes just to find them. She made a mental note to yell at Dawn for moving them. Moving to the closet, she opened it up, expecting to find fuzzy sweaters but instead, found the trendiest tops and jeans. “What is going on?”
Willow snatched a top off the hanger and examined it closely. It couldn’t have been Dawn’s, it would be too big on the teen. And it couldn’t have been Buffy’s cuz.. Willow immediately stopped her thought process, *no*, now is *not* the time to break down. She moved hangers one by one, looking for a simple tee and when she finally found one, she nearly cried out in relief.
“Will? What is taking you so long? William’s already here!”
“William?” Willow asked, perplexed.
“Umm, yeah. You know, your boyfriend.”
“What?”
Dawn rolled her eyes, “Not funny.”
Willow decided to let the subject rest for now, “Are these my clothes?” She pointed to her closet.
“Did you hit your head in the shower or something? Of course, those are your clothes!”
Willow turned back to the closet and then to Dawn, “Are you *sure*?”
“Will! Come on, don’t play games on the day when you’re *finally* gonna teach me some moves!! Get dressed already!”
“Is she taking forever again?” A voice asked.
Willow’s jaw nearly dropped to floor when she saw who entered the room. It was Spike.. but not. He had brown hair, *brown*, not blonde, that was spiked up. And hell, it looked *good* on him. He was wearing a simple black t-shirt with faded jeans and a wide smile.
“Now, as much as I like seeing you in just a towel, luv. I think you should get dressed now. The niblet wants her lessons, you promised.”
“Spike?” Willow managed after a few seconds.
“Umm, luv. I thought that was a private nickname.”
Dawn shuddered, “Alright, stop right there. I’m leaving.” As she walked out the door she mumbled to herself, “I *so* didn’t need to hear that.”
“Now, come on, pet. Don’t tell me you need me to dress you. Hmm, not that I’d mind a life-size Willow toy.” He moved forward with teasing eyes.
Willow held her hands up, “Umm, you’re right. Getting dressed, I’m gonna go and do that now. You go and umm.. keep Dawn company.”
“Alright then,” William flashed her a wide smile and then turned around to leave.
When he was out the door, she leaned against the closet door, trying to figure everything out. Things definitely had changed.
Chapter 2Willow’s fingers toyed with the tee as she tried to sort out her thoughts. It didn’t make any sense. The spell was supposed to take her back to the summer when she brought Buffy back but it obviously didn’t turn out like she had expected.
<Ok, focus, what’s different?> Well, for one, Spike. Or William. He was her.. boyfriend? And the rooms, they were all wonky. Dawn seemed normal except for the lessons? She said something about.. self-defense?
The redhead pulled the top over her head and straightened it out before reaching into the closet for a pair of cargo pants. She bent down and sifted through the piles of clothes. <Alright, this can’t be right. My clothes are out of place. My clothes are *never* out of place. I’m a self-proclaimed clean freak.> Finally finding what she was looking for, she slipped them on, still trying to figure everything out.
Her green eyes searched around the room and landed on a calendar. She skimmed over the dates, trying to figure out anything that was pertinent. Well, apparently I’m in the right year because this is a 2001 calendar. Her eyes landed on the bottom of the calendar, “Sponsored by the Sunnydale Park District.”
“Luv, why are you reading the calendar?”
Willow whipped around and smiled innocently, “Sp- errrr.. William, you scared me.”
“We’re waiting for you, pet. Niblet is getting impatient and she’s taking it out on me.” He looked her over, “Gorgeous, as always.” He walked towards her and enveloped her in a hug, “I love you so much.”
Willow stood, stunned, not knowing how to react to such a proclamation. “And, umm.. I errr… *love* spending time with you.”
William let her go and backed away with a curious look on his face. She smiled again until something clicked in her mind.
“You’re.. you’re in the sun.” Willow quickly pushed him onto the bed, “Why didn’t you burn?” She reached out a hand to touch him, “You’re warm.”
“Luv, you’re forgetting that *you’re* the one that burns easily, not me. And pet, it’s Southern California, during the summer, *everything* is warm.” He looked at her with worry, “You alright, luv?”
“Yeah, fine.” She replied distractedly.
“Now, as much as I would love to spend the whole day in bed with you, we have a very impatient teen downstairs.”
The redhead glanced at the open window and the sun shining brightly through it.
“Red?” He snapped his fingers in front of her face.
“What?” She looked at him, her attention finally directed completely towards him.
“Downstairs, lessons, Dawn.”
“Oh, right. Umm, yeah, let’s go.”
---
Dawn sat on the couch, with arms crossed and a pout. She jumped up when she saw Willow and William descend from the stairs. “There you guys are. Alright, it’s been like an hour since I woke you up so I get an hour extra, okay?”
“Umm, sure.” Willow paused for a second, “What was it that I was teaching you again?”
The teen stared at her in disbelief, “Umm, self defense.”
The redhead burst out into nervous laughter, “Dawnie, are you sure you want to learn self defense from me?”
“Well, *yeah*,” Dawn cocked her head to the side, “I mean you *do* teach a class at the University and you really can’t get more advanced then that here in Sunnydale.”
Willow’s smile faltered a bit at the comment. <If only you knew..> She sighed again and glanced at the clock. Alright, this was a start, 15 minutes had passed without thinking about.. She looked at Dawn and said in a forced cheery tone, “Okay, let’s go.”
---
Willow sat in the passenger seat of William’s car and looked out the window. Dawn was in the backseat, chattering about something or other and William was giving her his full attention. That left her.. alone. It seemed quite ironic that although she was surrounded by people that apparently loved her, she couldn’t get rid of the feeling of emptiness inside. She watched as the white of the clouds blended in with the pure blue of the sky and blinked back tears. She loved watching the sky. It was something that she always did when she wanted to escape from everything else.
Buffy used to call her on that whenever she would look off into the sky during one of their conversations. And pretty soon, the blonde started doing it more often also. It was one of the little quirks that they picked up from each other.
The redhead bit her lower lip and willed herself not to cry. Thankfully, at that moment, the Camry pulled into the University of California, Sunnydale parking lot.
---
Willow looked around the exercise room with nervous eyes. She didn’t know anything about self defense. Well, except for the few moves that she picked up during her patrols with Buffy. But that didn’t count. She couldn’t teach a whole hour’s worth, if not more, of moves to the eager teen. The redhead looked up and stared at her reflection in the mirror which covered a whole wall of the room. Bright green eyes stared back and for a moment, she almost smiled but thoughts of another set of eyes, almost always energetic, popped into her mind. Willow shook her head and turned around to face Dawn, “Alright.. umm.. you wanna get started?”
“Sure,” Dawn sat down onto the mat and looked up at the redhead for guidance.
“Dawnie, what are you doing?”
“Well, I’m kinda clueless at this so I thought you and William were gonna do like a mock fighting thingy to show me all the basics.”
Willow looked at William and laughed nervously, “Umm, sure.. I guess.”
“Alright, luv, do you want to be the attacker or am I?”
“W-Why don’t you go ahead and attack.”
William nodded and began in an authoritative tone, “You never know when someone might attack you. It’s unplanned, it can get messy, but the thing to keep in mind is that you have to gain the control of the attack.”
“You mean the upper hand?” Dawn asked.
He smiled at her, “Very good.” Suddenly, his foot shot out, meaning to trip the redhead but her body reacted on instinct and she jumped. She backed away slowly, <Whoa! That’s.. different.> He continued with his attack and started to throw blows at her and she managed to block each one.
“Come on, Red, don’t just block.”
She gaped at him, in shock at what he was asking. She couldn’t hit a guy! Heck, she had a hard time with the darn crossbow and he expected her to throw a punch at him? She shook her head negatively.
“Red, come on,” he urged. When she shook her head again, he rolled his eyes and lunged forward. She took a half step back, grabbed his arm, pulled it forward, toppling his balance, and threw him back. He stumbled a few steps but came back at full force and delivered a kick to her abdomen.
She fell onto the mat and breathed deeply for a few seconds and let her mind rest and her body take over. She did a back flip and landed gracefully onto her feet.
“Oh, cool!”
The redhead almost smirked at Dawn’s excitement. Heck, even she was getting into it. They circled each other for a few moments before William stepped towards her and began to throw punches again, left, right, left, right. His left knee came up but she forcefully stepped down on his left foot, trapping it. She punched him again and he staggered backwards. Taking advantage of his lack of balance, she dropped down to the floor and swerved her foot out under his, making him land onto the mat with an “oof.” She walked over to him and stood over his body so one foot was on each side.
Her eyes twinkled with pride and William only smiled sweetly at her when he brought his knees up, kicking her in the butt. She caught her balance in the nick of time and she ended up hovering over him on her forearms. He grabbed her head and pulled her down for a kiss.
Dawn smiled at the kissing couple and said happily, “Ohmigod! That was *so* cool, alright, Will, you are *so* teaching me that!”
Chapter 3Willow leaned against the cool wall of the hallway just outside the room with her eyes closed. She had just kissed William. And to be perfectly honest, she liked it. Green eyes opened and looked up at the ceiling. Why would she like it? She was gay. And she had never been that attracted to Spike before. Well, when she was younger, maybe. But not in the past few months. Not that there was any *time* to actually mull over such minuscule topics now.
But there was just *something* about William that was so completely different. It felt.. right. Different but right. Willow shook her head. It had only been a couple of hours since the spell sent her here and the only thing she could worry about was a supposed attraction towards an alternate version of Spike.
This whole thing was so much more complicated then she had thought it would be. There were so many questions that needed to be answered. For starters, why wasn’t Spike, or William, a vampire? And was there even a Buffy in this world? If there was, then why was she so close to Dawn? The redhead pushed the heel of her hand into her forehead and bit her lower lip. She slid down the wall, sobbing quietly.
“Oh Goddess, Buffy.”
“You alright, luv?”
Willow’s head snapped up when she heard the voice and she immediately brought the back of her hand up to wipe away the tears. “Of course,” she said with a fake smile.
“Red, don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not.”
“I know you miss her.”
“Who?”
William looked at her with gentle eyes and walked over to her. He lifted up a hand and traced the tear tracks down her face before moving in and kissing them.
“I know I couldn’t be as strong as you if I lost Xander like that.”
“What?” Willow asked, completely confused.
“My best friend, I mean. You’ve been so strong, luv. I’ve admired the way you’ve moved past Buffy’s death. And right now she’s looking down from heaven probably thankful that you’ve not only taken care of Dawn the way she wanted you to but also, you’ve moved on.” He grabbed her in for a tight hug, “I’m so proud of you.”
“Buffy died here too?” The redhead whispered softly, still trying to process everything.
William pulled back and examined her carefully, “Luv, maybe you’ve had enough for today. You wanna go back home?” He gave her a wicked smile, “I can even play nurse if you want me to.”
“What about Dawn? Don’t we.. umm.. live with her?”
“I can always tell Xander to take her to our place.”
“Our place.. as in.. you and Xander?” She asked cautiously.
“Yes, luv.” He let out a small laugh. “Why don’t you go into the bathroom and splash some water on your face. I’ll get Dawn and call Xander.”
---
Willow looked up and stared intensely into the mirror at her reflection. She watched the droplets of water slowly travel down her pale pink cheeks and down onto her gray tee. The redhead gripped the side of the sink and breathed in and out deeply.
It was as if her whole world was spinning out of control. It had seemed so simple in the beginning. It was a spell.. just a spell. And all it had to do was just to send her back in time to that summer. She wouldn’t do the spell to bring Buffy back and everything would be alright. But now, she was here.. and heck, she didn’t even know where *here* was. But there she was.
She looked back up at herself and said forcefully, “Get a hold of yourself, Will. You can get through this.”
Willow splashed her face with water again and grabbed a towel from the rack. After drying off her face she looked back at the mirror with a new found sense of determination. She would get through this.
---
Willow leaned the side of her forehead against the window and stared at the passing scenery. Everything seemed so blurry and far away. She closed her eyes and for a single moment, she was back to where she was before. She was alongside her best friend, laughing, carefree, and just happy. She wasn’t stuck here in a world where she didn’t even belong.
Everything felt surreal here. She couldn’t ever be herself, no matter how much she wanted to. There were too many complications standing in the way. She had to find a way to get back where she belonged. The summer before they brought Buffy back. That was where she needed to be. She had no idea what kind of chaos she might’ve caused by jumping through time and right now the only thing she could think of was how to fix it.
---
William dropped the keys onto the table and came up behind Willow and put his hands onto her shoulders. She gasped from the sudden contact but remained still as he moved his hands in a circular motion. Willow closed her eyes and for the moment, all her worries and problems faded away and the only thing in focus was the feel of his hands on her shoulders and the close proximity of his body.
“Luv, you trust me, right?”
Willow’s eyes popped open and she cleared her throat, “Of course.”
“And you would never lie to me, correct?”
“Never.”
There was a silence between them for a few seconds before William spoke up again, “Then why are you lying to me right now?”
She cleared her throat again and asked as calmly as she could, “What do you mean?”
“Willow, I know you’re hiding something.”
Crap. He used her real name. That was never of the good. Even in this alternate reality William had only called her by her pet names. This meant that he was serious. Double Crap. He knows.
“Don’t be silly, William. I’m not hiding anything.”
He turned her around and looked deeply into her eyes. She tilted her head down, trying to avoid his gaze. “I know you, Willow. And I know when you’re lying to me.”
There was long silence before Willow replied, “You wouldn’t understand.”
William raised her chin with a finger, “It’s me, pet. You can tell me anything, you know that.”
She backed away and whispered, “Not this.”
He grabbed her by the shoulders and said forcefully, “Anything.”
Willow shook her head and let out a sigh, “As clichéd as this sounds, I’m not who you think I am.”
Chapter 4William looked at her expectantly, “It’s ok, luv. Go ahead.”
Willow looked around and waved her hands about, “This place.. it’s not where I belong. I’m not from here.”
His countenance didn’t change and she continued on, “I’m from Sunnydale but not this Sunnydale. Back in my Sunnydale, I’m best friends with the Slayer. She’s the Chosen one that fights off demons, vampires, and overall baddies. You were a vampire in my world. You had a soul and you helped fight evil with us.”
When there was still no reaction from him, Willow began to worry, “I know it sounds hard to believe and Goddess, I even sound nutzo to me, but I’m not lying, William. I’m not.”
“This Slayer,” William began, “who was she?”
Willow looked down and said quietly, “Buffy.”
“And who were you?”
“I was the witch. I’m not even sure if I have powers in this reality but if I do, I can prove it to you.”
After another few moments of silence, he answered. “You don’t need to, luv.”
“What?”
“You don’t need to,” he repeated.
“W-Why? Do you believe me?”
William avoided the question and asked another in return, “Did you do a spell or something? Or else, how could you have gotten here?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Now is not the time to start to back away, Red.”
She let out a sigh and tried to regain composure. After a long silence, she looked up and began to explain.
---
William brushed the hair away from her face and leaned in to give her a gentle peck on the cheek. It was only 8 AM but he had promised to go running with Xander this morning. He didn’t want to leave her. Especially not after the bombshell that she had dropped on him earlier yesterday.
He wanted to believe her. He did. He knew that she would never lie to him and the truth shone through her eyes when she shared the complete story with him. But vampires, demons, witches, and Slayers? That just didn’t seem possible. But then again, maybe he was just being closed-minded. Perhaps there really were powers of that sort out there, and he just didn’t know.
William got off the bed and slid on his exercise clothes. He closed the door quietly but not before looking at his love one last time. Whatever the truth was, he’d figure it out. He always did.
---
“What bugging you, man?”
William turned to Xander and panted out in between breaths, “What are you talking about?”
“I’m you best friend, Will. And you’ve been super quiet this morning when you’re usually chattering away about Willow and the greatness that is her.”
“I’m just thinking over a few things.”
“Relationship problems?”
William slowed his pace to a jog, “Sort of.”
“Spill.”
“It’s private.”
“We’ve been best friends since we were little kids, Will. And Willow is one of my closest friends. I’m not gonna screw you guys over. Trust me.”
William let out a sigh and looked at him with a serious eye. “What I’m about to tell you stays between just us. Got it?”
Xander rolled his eyes, “Yes, I got it.”
“She thinks she’s a witch from an alternate Sunnydale.”
“What?!”
“Exactly.”
Xander paused for a second, “And I thought that she was the only sane one out of all of us.”
William slapped him across the chest, “Hey, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about.”
“Dude, she thinks she’s a witch and what the hell do you mean by an alternate Sunnydale. Last time I checked, there was only *one* Sunnydale.”
“An alternate version apparently. There’s more.”
Xander let out a laugh, “Oh, this should be good.”
William glared at him and he immediately shut up. “Ok, Buffy is the Slayer there. She’s the Chosen one that fights evil forces.”
“Evil forces? What like nasty demons or something?” Xander deadpanned. When he saw the look on William’s face he said incredulously, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I’m a vampire with a soul there. I help fight against the forces of evil.”
“Well, hey, at least you got a cool job.”
William shot Xander a look and the brunette replied defensively, “What?!” He paused for a moment, “hey, what’s my job?”
“You’re the umm.. zeppo, I think she said.”
“Oh, what’s that? Do I have like any special powers?”
“Well, you get donuts very fast.”
“Donuts?”
“And other snacks.”
“Donuts?” Xander repeated, “I’m the donut man?!”
“Hey now, you grab other munchies too.”
Xander shot him a glare, “You have no idea how degrading that is.”
“I’m not done yet.”
“There’s more?!”
“Oh, plenty.”
Xander stopped jogging for a second and turned to William, “Hey, maybe she’s just trying out a new kinky sex game.”
“How the hell do you get kinky sex game from this?”
“Dude, it’s the new millennium. The possibilities are endless. You never know, maybe you should just play along.”
“I love her. And I don’t want to hurt her. But even you have to admit that all of this is just a bit unbelievable.”
“Right, so just play along. I mean, it’s not gonna do either of you any harm if you do.”
“Never once has your advice worked for me before.”
“Hey!” Xander defended, “Where’s the love?”
“But,” William interjected, “I’m going with your call this time. I trust you.”
“Exactly,” He paused, “so, what more is there?”
Chapter 5Willow slowly opened her eyes and groaned at the light that poured in through the window. <Urghhh.. hate mornings.> Green eyes scanned the room and saw that William was nowhere in sight. <I scared him away, didn’t I?> She let out a sigh and shook her head. She knew it was bound to come but she didn’t expect it to be so soon. There was just something about him that made her trust him almost instantly. She felt safe around him even though the surroundings were foreign.
Cringing slightly from her sore muscles from the workout yesterday, she got up and headed to the bathroom.
---
Willow walked down the stairs and winced at every squeak and creak they made. The emptiness of the house only added to the feeling of loneliness that the redhead felt at the current moment. When she got to the base of the stairs, the front door opened, and she held her breath, not knowing what to expect.
“Hello, luv, up so early?”
She relaxed at the sound of William’s voice and for a moment, she pondered over that fact. <Why would William’s voice make me feel better? It’s as if every time he’s in the room, I’m much more relaxed.>
“Red?”
Willow shook herself out of her thoughts and gave him a small smile, “Couldn’t sleep.”
He nodded in understanding, “Have you had breakfast yet?”
“No, not yet. I was just headed into the kitchen.”
“Let me make some for you, then. I can show you my fantastic culinary skills.”
---
“You’re showing me your ‘fantastic culinary skills’ by making eggs, bacon, and toast?”
“Hey! Now, Xander can’t even make toast without burning it, so be grateful.”
“Hmmm, so where were you?” She tried to sound as relaxed as she could. It was odd, in the 15 minutes that they’ve been in contact, William hadn’t mentioned the subject at all. <What if he’s completely ignoring it? Like, he doesn’t believe me. Oh Goddess, what if he called the police? Oh, nut house, here I come!>
“Out running with Xander.”
“Oh, was it nice outside?”
William put down his coffee and let out a sigh, “Let’s not do this, Willow.”
“Oh-kay,” the redhead replied with a tight throat. <This can’t be good… this *cannot* be good.>
“I know you have questions. I have answers. Let’s not beat around the bush.”
She let out a sigh of relief, “Oh, right!”
He looked at her curiously, “Why, what’d you think I was going to say?”
“Nothing!”
“Willow.”
The one word made her drop her front and she let out a sigh, “I thought you were gonna send me to the loony bin or something.”
He moved around the counter to face her, “Luv, I told you already, you can trust me.” He wrapped his arms around her and said, “I won’t do anything to harm you. I promise.”
She smiled softly and leaned into his embrace, “Thank you.”
They stayed like that for a few moments until Willow cleared her throat and sat back in her chair, “So, umm, can you tell me a few things about what’s going on here?”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
“Quite a broad subject, pet.”
Willow gave him a look and William smiled and replied sweetly, “Alright, alright. Well, for starters, you and I have been in a relationship for 3 years now. We met in college. You have a job at the university. You teach martial arts. I, on the other hand, work for a computer company. As you can see, your job is much more fun.”
She grinned and he continued on, “Xander and I are best friends. Buffy was your best friend but she died in a car accident, a little less then half a year ago.”
Her smile faded as painful memories were brought back of the talk before she left and the calm and resolved look that was in her best friend’s eyes. The last look that she ever got from her. The look that remained burned into her mind. The look that haunted her dreams at night.
“Luv, you alright?” William asked, worriedly. The mention of Buffy’s name seemed to have changed her whole expression.
“Uhhh, yeah.”
“What exactly happened between you and Buffy?”
“Nothing.” Willow replied automatically.
“Luv, you can’t fool me. You can tell me. It always helps to talk about it.”
She sighed and looked down sadly. After a few minutes in silence, she looked back up at him with a tear-streaked face. “I killed her.”
William cleared his throat, “You what?”
“I could’ve brought her back. But I.. didn’t,” Willow managed between sobs, “She could’ve been alive and I would be back in my Sunnydale with her but now I can’t. I can’t ever be with her again. Oh, Goddess.” The redhead held her hand to her chest, breathing in and out heavily, “It hurts. It hurts so much. I wanted to beat the First. And we could’ve but she was so resolved. I didn’t want to cause more damage and so I promised her and I did it. I didn’t bring her back.” She held onto the counter tightly, “And it was the hardest thing that I’ve done.”
William shook his head, deciding to give up on deciphering what she was saying. Instead, he opted to just hold her and let her cry.
---
Blue eyes stared at pale pink cheeks on a soft face. He watched her sleep and was grateful for the silence and the rest that she was getting. But he could tell that it wasn’t pleasant pictures running through the redhead’s mind. Her face was tight with anguish and it was obvious that she was having a flashback or memory of some sort.
William sighed and ran his finger down her cheek and then up to her forehead, “What’s going on in there, luv?”
---
It was dark. She was running. But she didn’t know from what. Willow stopped in her steps and whipped her head around.
“Who’s there?” She called out into the darkness. Silence was her reply and she bit her lip in frustration. “*Who’s* there?” She tried again but to no avail. Closing her eyes tightly, she said softly, “Please stop.”
Suddenly, the darkness faded away and she was stuck in a white room whose color was blinding her rather than comforting. Green eyes searched the room, looking for some sign of a presence. Slowly, the wall of one side of the room began to move and a few seconds later, a body appeared to be forming. She could make out the lean figure, dressed in white from head to toe. Willow let out a small gasp when she saw the form completely materialize.
“Buffy?”
The blonde smiled softly and walked up to her. She lifted a hand and signaled for Willow to do the same. The redhead brought a hand up and was about to clasp it when Buffy suddenly shook her head and gave her a look as if saying, ‘no touching.’ Willow nodded, understanding and asked, “Is it really you?”
Buffy nodded and graced her with another warm smile. The blonde was glowing and it was obvious that she was finally and truly happy.
“What’s going on? Why am I here?”
The blonde’s soft smile faded from her face and she finally opened her mouth to say 5 words that would only bring on even more complications, “You need to go back.”
Chapter 6Willow’s upper body shot off the bed and she grabbed at the covers, panting harshly. As she wiped the sweat from her forehead, she barely registered William’s worried voice.
“Luv? What’s wrong? Are you alright?”
Seconds later, she finally looked back at him with teary eyes, “I-I can’t take this anymore. I just want it to stop.” She collapsed into his strong arms and began sobbing into his chest.
He held her and whispered comforting phrases into her ear as he rubbed her back. <What is that keeps on bothering her so much? Why does she automatically lose her smile when Buffy’s name comes up? Did she really kill her? No, that can’t be right. She said something about bringing her back. I need to talk to her. But not now. Not while she’s so upset.> William shook himself out of his thoughts and focused on calming down the sobbing redhead in his arms.
After a few minutes, she finally regained her composure and looked up at him with big, watery eyes. “I-I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have done that.” She quickly pushed herself out of his arms and scrambled off the bed and stood up, holding her arms out, as if blocking herself from him.
He looked at her, confusion on his face. “You don’t need to be sorry, pet. I’m here for you. I won’t hurt you.”
“I shouldn’t be here. I have to go back. I-I,” she looked around the room, “I have to go back.”
William looked at her worriedly, “Alright, luv. But we’ll deal with it in the morning. You must’ve had a nightmare or something. Nothing to be all riled up about. Just come back to bed. It will all be okay in the morning. I promise.”
She stared at him hopelessly and let out a sigh. She was on her own. Willow nodded and crawled back under the covers and into his arms. For the moment, she was content. Pushing away the thoughts, she closed her eyes. For now, she was lost in the feel of the closeness of his body and the sweetness of his words. She drifted off to a dreamless sleep, dreading the day to come.
---
“You guys!” Dawn called from the base of the stairs, “I’m back!”
Willow opened her eyes groggily, hearing Dawn’s voice.
“I’m coming in! You guys better be decent!” The young teen warned. She opened the door and saw the redhead and brunette wrapped in each other’s arms, obviously not fully awake yet. She giggled and jumped onto the bed, pouncing on Willow. “Come on, Will, wake up already!”
The redhead moaned, “Dawnie, just give me a couple more minutes.”
Dawn pouted and said saucily, “Alright, that never works for me so what makes you think it’ll work for you?” She grabbed the pillow from under William’s head and stuffed it into his face, “Wake up!!!”
“Huh? What?” William’s mumbled words could be heard from under the pillow and he pushed Dawn off of him and onto Willow. He looked at Dawn, “What are you doing here this early in the morning, bit?”
“Xander and I got bored at your place so we decided to drop off here and see what you two were up to. And early? Ha, it’s like 11 already!” She crawled off the bed, “Oh, by the way, Xander’s not that pleased with you. You kinda ditched him this morning.”
“What?”
“You know, daily run.”
William massaged his forehead, “Oh, yeah, that.”
“Anyhow, I’m gonna go back downstairs. Xander’s making something to eat. You guys better be down in 15 minutes or less.”
When Dawn shut the door, Willow plopped herself back onto the pillow and groaned, “Do I have to get up?”
“Come on, luv. You heard the Niblet. Besides, now you can see how wonderful a cook I am. After you taste Xander’s cooking, mine will seem like fine cuisine.”
The redhead looked at him and registered the playful look in his eyes and his naturally tousled hair that only seemed to add to his allure. She stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell she was doing by moving forward and pulling his head down. All she knew was that whenever he was near her, she was happy. And that happiness was one thing that she so desperately wanted to cling to at the moment, even if it was temporary. And when their lips met, a part of her was still wondering why she was initiating such intimate contact. But for the moment, she was content. The only thing in focus was the two of them, the rest of the world fading into the background.
---
“Xander made pancakes, well, at least I think they’re pancakes.” Dawn announced as Willow and William came into the kitchen, arms wrapped around each other.
“Shut up, brat. Unless you don’t want food period.” Xander warned. He looked up at William and saw the position he was in and gave him an understanding nod. <Obviously, someone was dealing with some girlfriend issues.> The brunette looked at Willow and said happily, “Morning, Willster, actually, afternoon, you up for some pancakes?”
“You’re making pancakes for lunch?” The redhead asked curiously.
“Well, it’s more like a brunch.”
Willow smiled softly, “Alright, pancakes sound good.” She looked at Dawn, “So, what are our plans for today?”
“I was thinking hiking or something out-doorsy. Xander kept me locked in the apartment for the whole weekend. It’s Sunday, I wanna do something fun.”
The redhead grinned and turned to William, “What do you think?”
“How about a drive instead? We could go to the beach.”
“The beach?” Dawn squealed, “Alright, I’m getting packed right now.”
Xander rolled his eyes, “You just *had* to go and say that didn’t you?” He finished drying the dishes and pointed an accusing finger at William, “You owe me, man. I spent the whole weekend babysitting!”
William laughed and nodded, “Alright, Alright. Do you mind going back to the apartment to grab my swim shorts?”
The brunette’s eyes narrowed and then he shook his head, “Yes, oh slave master of mine.”
When Xander was gone, William turned to Willow and smiled wickedly, “Looks like we’re all alone, pet.”
Willow smiled nervously and backed up against the table counter, “Dawn could come back any second.”
“Luv,” William moved closer and put his arms on each side of her, trapping the redhead. “You know as well as I do that she takes forever when she packs.” He cocked his head to the side, “Now, I wonder what we can do, just the two of us, all alone, in the spare time.”
The redhead surprised herself by answering, “I don’t know. Why don’t you show me?”
William’s grin grew as he leaned in and their lips met for another passionate kiss.
---
Willow sat in the passenger’s seat, biting her lower lip. She shouldn’t have done that. She shouldn’t have kissed him. She shouldn’t have given into temptation. The redhead let out a sigh and tried to ignore the sun shining down on her, the warmth trying to convince her otherwise.
She had to focus on getting back, not on a weekend rendezvous. Buffy herself even visited her in her dreams, telling her that she needed to go back. The redhead smiled softly, the Slayer truly looked happy.
<I have to start looking for a way to get back. Only the Goddess knows how the other Sunnydale is dealing without me and Buffy.> She paused for a moment and wondered if there was another her at the other Sunnydale? There were so many questions and so few answers.
Chapter 7Dawn grabbed the duffel bag out of the car and put it on top of the trunk. She was pulling out her swimming suit when all of a sudden Willow yelled, “Crap!”
“What?” Dawn said defensively, “You said I could get this. It was one of the only things you would actually approve of!”
“No,” The redhead shook her head, “It’s not that. I forgot to bring my suit.”
The teen smiled brightly, “Oh, don’t worry about that. I got it for you when I was packing.” She threw the suit at Willow before running off to the bathroom.
Willow held out the two-piece in front of her and her eyes bugged out at the amount of material that the suit had, or actually, lacked. “I can’t wear this!” She nearly screeched.
“Why not, pet? You’ll look gorgeous in it.” William eyed her appreciatively, “Not that you don’t already.”
She cleared her throat and said uncomfortably, “Do we have anything else that’s not so umm.. revealing?”
“It’s not that bad, luv.”
“It looks like an eye patch.”
“Just go put it on. I bet you’ll be thinking otherwise, then.”
She gave him a look before turning around and following in Dawn’s steps, grumbling.
---
“Dawnie?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have umm.. a sarong or something?”
Sounds of searching were heard before a piece of material was thrown over the side of bathroom stall and into Willow’s arms. “Thanks.”
After a few minutes, Willow looked herself over in the mirror, satisfied with the way she looked, she headed out the door.
The first step into the sand was almost pure bliss. She had forgotten how much she loved the ocean. When she was little, her and Xander would come out here as often as they could, begging their parents nonstop. She looked out at the waves and images of a small redhead and brunette danced through her mind. Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she walked towards William and affixed a smile onto her face.
---
Willow leaned up on her elbows, looking out at a splashing Dawn who was being chased by William and Xander. She laid back down and closed her eyes. It almost seem like she was stuck in a fantasyland, complete with a perfect boyfriend, loving friends, and no demons or monsters that would pop out when the sun went down. She was tempted to just stay there.. but she couldn’t. She had a responsibility.
Buffy’s words flashed in her mind, ‘You need to go back.’ That was the proof that she couldn’t stay there. Otherwise, Buffy wouldn’t have visited her in the first place. But as much as she’d like to deny it, she didn’t want to leave. This alternate version of Sunnydale was beginning to grow on her. And, it had nothing to do with a certain, blue-eyed brunette that adored her. Of course not.
Willow blew a strand of hair of her pace with a huff. She couldn’t be falling for William. She was gay! So, why was she having trouble convincing herself of that? There was something so refreshing about him. Even though she had just gotten to know him, it seemed like she had already grown attached.
The past few days had proved that he would always be there for her. She knew that now. She announced the most shocking news to him and instead of turning his back, he still welcomed her into his heart with open arms and didn’t try to convince her otherwise. That kind of acceptance was so rare these days and yet, she was willing to let it slip through her fingers in order to go back.
But to what? If she was to go back to the other Sunnydale, she would be going back to misery. Hard times a plenty and more pain. Could she really take that anymore? Did she even have a choice?
No, she didn’t. She had to go back. She made a promise to Buffy and the blonde even visited her in her dreams, telling her that she had a responsibility to uphold. She couldn’t let her feelings interfere, it was just something that she had to do.
The redhead was snapped out of her thoughts when a sudden spray of sand headed her way. She sputtered for a few moments before looking up at a grinning William. Deciding to ignore her previous thoughts for now, she got up and chased after him.
---
Willow and William walked hand in hand, the tide coming in quietly, just barely touching their feet. The redhead felt a tug on her arm and saw that William was sitting down, leaning against the sand and watching the sun set. Willow smiled softly and joined him and rested on his shoulder.
After a few minutes of peaceful silence, he finally spoke up. “I know things are confusing for you right now.”
Willow looked into his eyes, the rising panic slowly fading away.
“But, I just wanted to let you know that no matter what, I will always be here for you. Anything you need, just say the word, luv.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed each knuckle. Carefully, he slid a ring onto her finger.
She stared at the silver band with big eyes and said hoarsely, “True Love Waits?”
“I will wait, Willow. As long as you need me to.”
Willow lifted her head and looked into his eyes, the sincerity in his words stared back. She placed a soft kiss on his lips and the kiss grew with equal passion from both parties.
---
“Willster, we gotta go!” Xander called from the car.
She glanced at the brunette and yelled back, “I’ll be right there.” Willow walked back to the car slowly. She turned and took one last look at the fading colors and said softly, “What am I going to do?”
Chapter 8Willow stared at herself in the mirror that covered the wall. <Oh Goddess, am I ready to do this?>
“Hey, Will!”
The redhead whipped around, eyes wide when she saw who it was. “Oh, Goddess. What are you doing here?!” She shrieked, then clamped her mouth shut when she realized that she wasn’t in *her* Sunnydale.
The brunette stared at her with slight confusion and finished pulling her hair back into a bun. “What do you mean, what am I doing here? I teach the class with you, Red. Remember?” She put her hands on her hips and smiled wickedly, “Ahhh, still under the whole William daze?”
“Umm, yeah, that’s it.” Willow nodded vigorously, still finding it hard to believe that she was conversing with the person in front of her.
“Alright, I already checked with Ashley and she said that two of the guys aren’t going to be here, I think it was David and Matt.” She continued to walk around the room with a clipboard, checking off names.
Meanwhile, Willow, still wide-eyed, watched her every move carefully.
“Alright, Will, what gives?”
“Huh?”
“Why are you all of a sudden wigging out?”
“I’m not. I’m perfectly fine,” Willow exhaled, “Faith. Perfectly fine.”
---
“Well, you two seemed to be snuggling up real nice, even if she might be a little,” Xander did a little hand movement, “woo-hoo!”
William glared at him from over his monitor, “Work, Xan, you might try doing it sometime.”
The brunette smiled and pointed to his watch, “It’s called lunch break, Mr. Over Achiever. Let’s go.”
“Already?”
“Yeah, time just flies by when you’re typing and conversing with customers.” Xander deadpanned.
“I happen to like my job.”
“Well, I don’t.” Xander said decidedly, “Hey, we picking Will and Faith up for lunch?”
“Crap,” William said suddenly.
“What?”
“I forgot to tell her.”
Xander shrugged, “It’s okay, I told Faith about it.”
The brunette smiled at his friend with raised eyebrow, “Hmm, you two are getting along real nice, aren’t you?”
“Just are great as you and Will.”
William ignored his teasing tone and asked seriously, “Why don’t you just ask her out?”
“Because, I already know the answer. She’s like my best friend.”
“Let me guess, you don’t want to ruin the friendship?”
“Exactly!” Xander snapped his fingers before opening the door to his car.
William looked at him before getting into the car, “As your best friend, I just want to tell you something. Now, you can’t attack me, you promise?”
“Yeah, what is it?”
“You sound like a woman.”
---
Willow wiped the sweat from her forehead with a towel and looked up at Faith, “Do we get a lunch break anytime soon?”
“Actually, we got 20 minutes before Xander and William come and pick us up, enough time for a quick shower. Let’s go.”
“Wait,” Willow said, getting to her feet, “Picking us up?”
“Yeah, lunch, didn’t William tell you?”
“No,” her brow furrowed in thought, “He didn’t.”
Faith smiled at her, “He probably just forgot. I swear, him and Xander are getting more and more alike everyday.”
“Yeah,” the redhead replied, not really paying attention.
“Doesn’t that worry you?” After getting no answer, Faith snapped her fingers in front of Willow’s face, “Yo, Red? You in there?”
“Huh?” The redhead asked dazedly, “Sorry.”
Faith returned her sheepish smile and said with a wink, “Don’t worry, hun, you’re gonna see him in less than 30 minutes. I’m sure even you can wait that long.”
---
Willow leaned her elbows on her kneecaps and rested her chin in between open palms. She had hoped that she could do some research today, during her lunch break. But, apparently that wasn’t happening. She made a mental note to look around for magic stores or any type of store that would carry something of use in her current situation.
She had come to a decision last night. She couldn’t get any more attached to William. Falling for the handsome brunette was the last thing she needed right now. If she was going to do this, then she had to make a clean cut. No feelings attached.
A little voice in the back of head was whispering words of how emotions couldn’t be controlled. And as much as the redhead tried, it seemed like there wasn’t a mute button on the darn thing. She could control her emotions, she tried to tell herself, she knew she could.
It’s not like she had a choice.
Chapter 9For the next couple of days, Willow developed a routine. She would wake up, take a shower, get dressed, wake up Dawn, make breakfast, go to work, meet up with William, Xander, and Faith for lunch, and then pick up Dawn. William would always go over to the house and they would have dinner and, if both weren’t too tired, they would have some snuggle time. On Friday, things went a little different.
Willow still went through the same morning ritual, not at all disturbed of the fact that she seemed to be getting pretty comfortable with the life that she was currently leading. She had figured that she might want to get started on searching for magic stores so in her free time in between lessons, she surfed the net, checked phone books, and called 411, all in the search for a magic store.
Finally, on Thursday, she found one. Unfortunately, it was a 20 minute drive. She had plans with William later on that night for dinner and she also had to pick up Dawn from school. So, there wasn’t any time she could go, except on her lunch break. Her weekend was obviously going to be William filled and though she tried to deny it, she loved that.
Sighing slightly, she walked up to Faith, “Hey, I have to pick up something for Dawn during my lunch break, okay?”
“Sure,” The brunette replied.
Willow breathed a sigh of relief, <Well, that was easier then expected.> She began to walk out the door when Faith spoke up.
“Hey, wait a sec.”
<Crap. Spoke too soon.> Nervously, the redhead turned around and managed a weak smile, “Yeah?”
“You gonna have time to get something to eat or do you want me to grab something for you?”
Letting out the breath that she had be holding, Willow replied with a thankful grin, “I’ll grab something on the way. Thanks.”
---
Faith walked out the door and put on her sunglasses, not wanting the California sun to get in her eyes. “Yo, boys!”
William was leaning against his car, smirking slightly when an automatic smile popped onto Xander’s face when he saw Faith. He nodded at the girl and frowned when he didn’t see a redhead follow. “Where’s Willow?”
Faith broke her gaze from Xander and replied distractedly, “Oh, umm, she said something about picking something up for Dawn.”
William’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Odd, she didn’t say anything about that to me.”
She shrugged, “Maybe she forgot.”
“Right,” The brunette nodded and opened the door to his car, “So, where to?”
---
Willow looked around the store, seeing nothing of use. Everything here was completely commercialized, things that were used to attract tourists or beginners. She glanced at the manager and walked up to him, hoping he could be of some help.
“I’m looking for an Advenia candle.”
The man looked at her and his face broke out in a wide smile, “So you’re serious. Sorry about the lack of actual ingredients you can use but the customers these days are usually only interested in Ouija boards and rabbit’s feet.” He clasped his hands together, “I think I may have what you’re looking for. What spell do you plan to use it for?”
“A spell to fix everything, place everything in its proper place,” Willow whispered, more to herself rather then the shopkeeper.
The man stared at her with a curious look before he placed the candle in front of her, “You’re lucky. It’s the only one I have left. One of those clearance items, uhh, let’s see, price is,” he glanced at the tag, “15.99.” He looked around the store, “Anything else you need?”
“Uhh, yeah, do you have any spell books that use the Advenia candle?” Willow tried to word her sentence carefully. She couldn’t exactly come out and say, ‘hey, do you happen to have a spell that can let you jump through dimensions?’
The shopkeeper placed a finger on his chin, “Hmmm, hold on, I think I do, let me check.” After a few minutes of searching, he came back with two books, “I think these two are the only that I have. I’ll check with the LA branch to see if they have anymore. If these two don’t suffice, come back in a few days. You’re bound to find what you want. There aren’t that many spells out there that use the Advenia candle, and the spells that involve them, are *very* *dangerous*.” He enunciated the last two words, hoping she understood what he meant.
She looked up at him and smiled in reassurance, “I know. So, umm, how much?”
Chapter 10“Willow!” Dawn bellowed, “William’s here!”
“Just a sec!” Willow yelled back, putting the finishing touches on her makeup.
“So, bit, what’d Willow get you?”
“What?”
“Didn’t she get you something?” William asked, confused.
“Uhh, not that I know of, oh, is she getting me an early birthday present?”
William looked at her in confusion, “Niblet, your birthday’s in 5 months.”
“What?” Dawn replied defensively, “She probably just wanted to be prepared.”
His reply was cut off when Willow appeared at the top of the stairs, wearing a simple yet classy black dress. It was held up by two spaghetti straps, both pulled to the right shoulder. The bottom was cut asymmetrically, the highest part showing a bit of leg. She topped it all off with a pair of strappy black heels. Dawn had helped to curl her hair. The redhead had stayed away from curling irons ever since her last experience. When the teen asked exactly why, she replied with a huff, ‘it bit me!’ Her makeup was simple, a little foundation, some smoky eyeshadow to highlight her eyes and a little bit of gloss.
To put it simply, she looked gorgeous. And she knew it. Heck, she spent over two hours getting ready, though she wouldn’t admit to herself why she took so much trouble. Never before had she spent so long getting ready for a date. And it wasn’t even one of those first date, must look over the top fantastic things. It was William, and that made all the difference.
“Wow,” William breathed, “Luv, you look.. stunning.”
She bit back the urge to giggle and blurt out, ‘I know.’ Instead, she opted for smiling gracefully and walking down the stairs and giving him a small kiss of thanks. The redhead turned to look at Dawn, “Xander and Faith should be here in-“
“They just called and said 10 minutes. They’re just grabbing some pizza. Don’t worry, I’ll try not to kill myself by choking on it.” The teen replied sarcastically.
William grinned at the feisty teen and whispered in Willow’s ear, “Come on, pet, leave her be. We’ve got a date to go on.”
Willow looked into his eyes and resisted the urge to just grab him and push him against the door to do naughty things. It didn’t help that the man looked so completely edible at that moment. He was dressed in a simple black suit, signs of a light blue shirt peeking out. He wore his hair the same way he usually did but it was that smile that got to her; the smile that shone with love and adoration and was so devilishly wicked at the same time.
She closed her eyes for a brief moment and when she opened them back up, William was still looking at her and smiling. <Oh, Goddess, this can’t be happening.> In that moment, everything around her seemed to swirl in a giant circle and only one thing was clear, she was falling for him, hard.
This wasn’t good.
---
Willow swallowed nervously, suddenly feeling lightheaded. <This just made things so much more complicated.> Deciding to push away her nagging thoughts, she linked her arm around William’s and headed out the door.
“Bye, you wacky kids, have fun! Stay out as late as you want!” Dawn called after them, a wide grin on the teen’s face.
---
“Oh, this is divine.” Willow exclaimed as she took the first bite out of her chicken.
“Not better then my cooking, right?” William raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, no, of course not,” The redhead suppressed a giggle and continued to devour her meal.
“Luv?”
Willow glanced up and saw the brunette staring at her, worry in his eyes. “Yeah?”
“Where were you today?”
She coughed in surprise when the question popped out of his mouth and took a sip of champagne to stall, “What do you mean?”
William didn’t buy her innocent act for a moment. “Willow.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat, “I, umm, went to a, umm, magic store.”
Blue eyes stared at her, “Why?”
<Oh, this isn’t good. This *isn’t* good.> “To umm, look for a spell.”
“For what?”
The moment of truth. To tell, or not to tell? Willow’s mind was jumbled with thoughts, thinking of the possible consequences if she admitted her true reason. Deciding that she didn’t want to give up this fantasy just yet, she replied hastily, “To prove to you that I’m not insane. I wanted to do a spell, to show you that I’m a witch and that I wasn’t lying.”
William let out a sigh of relief, “Luv, I already told you, you don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“No, but I want to.”
He smiled slightly, “I trust you, Willow.”
Willow resisted the urge to tell him the truth when he said those words, all the while staring intensely into her eyes. <Guilt. I’m feeling guilt. Why am I feeling guilty? I shouldn’t be. This is all for the best. It has to be.> Biting her lower lip as she mulled over these thoughts. She smiled back weakly and continued to eat the rest of her dinner.
---
Willow lay in bed, eyes wide open, with her thoughts racing a mile a minute. There were so many contradicting feelings inside of her that she didn’t know which ones to believe and follow.
She lied to William and yet she believed that she loved him, or at least was definitely getting there and fast. But, if she really loved him, would she have lied to him? True, every couple had to have its secrets, but this was different. This secret was life-altering, in the literal terms.
She also still didn’t know if she wanted to stay or not. A part of her wanted to just forget her past life and make a new future with William. To do that would be purely selfish. Though, maybe she was sent here for that reason: to give into that indulgence and just be selfish for once in her life. After all, Buffy, in most ways, was being selfish by deciding to do the time reversal spell that let her remain in heaven. Though the blonde did have good reasons, she was sacrificing herself to save the world.
Willow on the other hand, wasn’t. She wanted to stay because she was tired of everything in the old Sunnydale. She never thought she would enjoy perfection so much. In the past she would flip through glossy magazines with a disgusted look. After all, who would want everything to be perfect? That would mean there would be no room for improvement and soon, everything would become quite dull. Things weren’t like that here though. She knew now that she would never become bored with William. He always managed to create surprises, little or big. And she liked that.
Her previous relationships were always comfortable. And while she liked passion and excitement, she also liked a sense of security and calmness. William gave her all of that. What if she never experienced that ever again? They say you haven’t lived life if you don’t experience true love. What if this was it? When the moment came, would she really be able to give it all away to go back to a reality in which she had no idea what the current conditions were?
She rolled over and pulled the covers up, silently wishing that someone were here to help her talk through her problems. That certain someone was busy though, in heaven of course. <Come on Buff, just a hint.>
Her eyes skimmed across the room and landed on the two spell books that she had bought earlier that day. Sighing, she pushed the covers off of her and moved across the room to grab them. Hopping onto the bed, she flipped open one of them and began to look for a spell that would be of use.
After a half hour of searching, she closed the first book with a sigh of defeat. <Nothing.> Glancing at the clock, she saw how it was already 3:30 AM. Deciding to give up on sleep, she flipped open the second spell book and began searching again.
20 minutes later, she found what she was looking for. Surprisingly enough, it was less complicated then she thought. The only things required were the Advenia candle and a circle of herbs, which she could find easily at almost any convenience store. Looking over the directions and the actual spell, she saw that it had to be performed on a full moon. Her eyes traveled over to her Sunnydale Park District calendar and saw that the next full moon occurred in 8 days.
Willow closed her eyes and pushed the spell books away. She had to come to a decision, and quick.
Chapter 11The redhead turned onto her side and glanced at the digital clock, 4:23 AM. She still couldn’t sleep. The fact that she only had a week to come to a decision not only bothered her, but also scared her. She didn’t want to make the wrong choice, though in this matter, which would be the wrong choice?
If only she knew. Willow froze still for a second, *she* didn’t know. But, maybe someone up there did, perhaps a trusted friend? Scrambling off the bed, she began to search around her room for a candle and a picture of Buffy.
After 15 minutes of searching, she found all of what she was looking for. She locked her door, not wanting any interruptions and moved to the middle of the room, sitting cross-legged. She placed a picture of Buffy in a bowl and a candle to its side. She lighted the candle and blew out the match. Holding the candle, she began to recite a spell.
“Heavens above, hear my plea
Bring me into contact with the one I seek,”
With those words, she used her candle to light Buffy’s picture. During the few moments of silence, green eyes stared at the slowly burning image. When the flames completely consumed the picture, the candle flew out of her hands and was suspended in the air above her. Her eyes widened in surprise as a small ball of light appeared in front of her. Quickly, it formed into the shape of a person and as the light faded away, Buffy appeared.
Willow restrained herself from jumping up to hug the blonde and stared at her best friend with teary eyes. “Buffy.”
Buffy smiled back at her with warm eyes, “Hey Will.”
After a short silence, Buffy spoke up again, pointing to the candle above Willow that was quickly burning out, “You only have a couple of minutes, Will.”
Willow cleared her throat, “I-I need your help.”
Buffy nodded for her to continue.
“D-Do you know why I was sent here?”
She let out a sigh and nodded, “It wasn’t a mistake. The spell was meant to screw up, you were sent here for a reason. I can’t tell you, though. You do know; you just have to open your eyes to see it.”
“I’m supposed to go back, right?” The uncertainty was clear in her voice.
“The choice is up to you.”
“But you said that I had to go back.”
“Things aren’t balanced there, you going back would fix that.”
Willow looked above her and saw the candle was almost completely burned out. Buffy saw the distress in the redhead’s eyes and put a hand over the candle, halting its movement.
“Look, don’t listen to what I have to say. I’m not allowed to tell you anything that they don’t want me to tell you. They’re very vague when it comes to these types of things. Trust your instincts, Will. Follow them. That’s how you’ll make the right choice.” Buffy cocked her head to the side as she felt a wave of emotion come off of the redhead. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Will. You do deserve it.”
Willow looked up and was about to reply when Buffy pulled back her hand, the candle disappearing, and the image of her best friend began to fade. “Smile for me.”
The redhead let out a weak smile and let the tears flow freely, no longer holding them back.
“I miss you.” That was the last thing that Willow heard before everything became dark again.
“I miss you, too.” Willow whispered. She looked out the window and saw the sky beginning to brighten. Turning her head back to stare into the empty darkness, she sighed, her decision made.
---
Willow groaned when she heard a knock on her door. She had finally fallen asleep only 2 hours before. The knocking repeated itself, insistently, and the redhead managed to get out of bed to answer it. Rubbing her eyes, she yawned as she opened the door, “Dawnie, I’m kinda-“ She looked up and instead of being a bright-eyed teenager, she saw William, warm smile and loving eyes in place, holding a tray of fresh fruit, glass of juice, and a red rose.
“Dawn’s downstairs with Faith and Xan. I wanted to surprise you with,” William held up the tray of food, “breakfast.” He moved into the room and put the tray onto the bed. Turning around, he caught the yawn that Willow was trying to hide. “Tired, luv?”
“I, umm, didn’t sleep that well.”
He nodded sympathetically and hugged her tightly. Willow savored the feel of his arms around her and leaned into his caress. Inhaling his sweet scent, she smiled softly, remembering Buffy’s words, she deserved this.
Willow moved out of his arms reluctantly and sat onto the bed, popping a strawberry into her mouth. “So, where are we going today?”
“We wanted to take Dawn to Universal Studios. She’s been bugging Xander about it for the past few months and yesterday, while babysitting, Faith lost a card game to her and so her prize is a trip to movieland.”
The redhead grinned at his words, her tiredness forgotten, “Am I invited?”
“Of course, luv. But get dressed, we’re leaving in 15 minutes.”
“Alright, well, you go and shoo!” Willow waved her hand to further make her point, unable to hide the smile.
William walked up to her and grabbed her around her waist. He moved his head forward, ravaging her lips. When he finally let go of her, the redhead stumbled back slightly. Before he went out the door, he said with a grin, “Don’t take too long.”
Willow stared blankly at the closed door and put her hand to her lips. She was making the right choice. She knew she was.
Chapter 12
The trip to Universal Studios helped Willow relax. But, it didn’t wash away her thoughts. Through the four times that she went on the Terminator ride due to Xander’s obsession with the movie, her decision was always there in the front of her mind, bugging her. It never stopped pestering her, even a soaked William didn’t help it. Nothing could chase away her thoughts.
Things were so incredibly perfect right now. Even Buffy seemed to have given her the blessing that she needed. But the words. It was the words that the blonde had said that got to her. ‘Trust your instincts.’
Her instincts were telling her to go back, telling her to leave, now, before she fell even deeper. She couldn’t stay here. Not with the guilt in her. She knew that if she did, the thought of the other Sunnydale being unbalanced would drive her near insanity, especially knowing that she could’ve fixed it all. True that Sunnydale had problems, but that was her home. This wasn’t.
But, then there was William. William who stole her heart away with his sweet words and love. William who gave her the care and respect that she had needed so badly. Her instincts may have been screaming at her to leave, but her heart was yelling just as loud, if not louder.
She was torn. Heart or mind? Which to choose? Knowing that either direction would lead to some type of pain. She decided to take the one that was less painful, the one that the pain would at least numb over time.
She had to leave.
---
The rest of the weekend passed in a blur. Willow spent the majority of her time in William’s arms, grateful that she was given a chance to experience something so rare firsthand.
When Sunday night rolled around, they were in William’s apartment. Xander had gone to Faith’s and Dawn was at a friend’s house, sleeping over and then going to school from there.
The redhead stared out the window at the bright stars that always seemed to calm her. She didn’t know why she was so nervous. There was just something about this night, something that was different. Something was going to happen.
William slid his arms around her waist and nibbled on her ear, “You alright, luv?”
“Fine,” Willow replied with a hitch in her breathing as William slid his hands up her shirt to caress her stomach. “Just thinking.”
He moved his lips down her neck, pushed the spaghetti strap out of the way and sucked on her bare shoulder, “Good things hopefully?”
She bit her lower lip and ignored the voice inside her head that was yelling at her, telling her not to go any further. She turned around and smiled at him, “Mostly.” She lowered his head and as soon as their lips touched, all other thoughts faded away.
William picked her up, she wrapping her legs around his waist. They moved to his bedroom, he managed to kick the door shut and keep his balance without breaking the kiss. He dropped her onto the bed with care and took off his shirt. Before moving forward, he looked into her eyes, “Are you sure, luv?”
Willow nodded hastily and stripped off her shirt. She pulled him down for another kiss and managed to unbutton and wriggle out of her jeans. Fumbling with his button, she let out a frustrated groan.
He looked stopped her and looked at her with a gentle smile, “Slow down, pet.”
She nearly burst into tears, seeing the look in his eyes. He wanted to make this worth it. That much she could tell. He truly cared about her, loved her even, and she was...
Willow stopped her thoughts and nodded. He unbuttoned his jeans and kicked them away and moved their bodies up on the bed. Together, they stripped their bodies of the rest of the clothes, never stopping the kiss.
Through the haze, William managed to grab at reality for a moment and reached into the drawer for a condom. Willow watched his movements through hooded eyes, she was actually going to do this.
She gasped when she felt him enter her with obvious care. It hurt. The pain slowly faded away with each thrust. Neither of them broke their gaze from the other. This wasn’t just a mere act of physical satisfaction. This was real. For the first time in her existence, she understood the meaning of ‘making love.’ This was it.
Throwing her head back, her body arched against his as she came. He soon followed, shaking slightly from the intensity of it all. She held his cheek in the palm of her hand and when their eyes met, she whispered the words that she finally admitted to herself and him for the first time, “I love you.”
---
William looked at Willow’s sleeping face with a small smile on his own. She loved him. He still couldn’t believe it. When she first told him that she came from somewhere else, he honestly doubted her. But now, he wasn’t so sure anymore. There were definitely differences in her. But none that were majorly drastic.
But, when she said the words. That was when he knew for sure. Before, they came with ease. But, just then, it was said with desperation and need. She was different. But, he was still hopelessly in love with her.
He knew that she was hiding things from him. It was in the little things that he noticed. And he still never questioned her about the whole Buffy issue. It just seemed to slip his mind. He was too caught up in the essence of her.
William sighed. He couldn’t help but feel that something was going to happen. Something to ruin it all. He pulled her body closer and placed a kiss on her forehead, whatever it was, as long as they were together, they would make it through.
---
Willow reached out a hand to the other side of the bed, frowning when she didn’t feel William’s body within reach. <He must’ve gone to take a shower.> She sat up in the bed and massaged her forehead.
She shouldn’t have done that. Indulging in a physical experience with him just made everything so much harder. But, she went and did it anyway. From that first kiss, she was lost. Before, she was usually capable of handling herself, controlling herself, but around him, she just seemed to lose that control, and it didn’t bother her as much as she thought.
“’ello, luv, glad to see you’re awake,” William kissed her softly and held her face in his palms, “I love you, forever and always.”
She was taken aback at the sudden declaration though she always knew it, the truth shone through his eyes. “I-I love you too, don’t ever forget that.” She heard her voice crack and scolded herself for it. She cleared her throat and gazed at him with intense eyes, “If anything happens, don’t ever doubt my love for you, ok? I will *never*, *never* stop loving you.”
“I know, Willow,” He smiled at her again, “Whatever comes next, we’re ready for it, *I’m* ready for it, I have you by my side, that’s all I need.”
Willow forced out a smile, “I’m-I’m umm.. going to take a shower, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, she rushed to the bathroom.
How could she be so selfish? She didn’t even consider William’s feelings into this, only caring about her own. He had given her the love that she wanted without a second thought, not caring if she didn’t reciprocate. But, she did, so desperately.
‘I have you by my side, that’s all I need.’ Willow turned on the shower and burst into tears. She let the hot water wash over her and gasped from the force of the sobs, “Oh, Gods, I can do this. I have to do this.”
She pounded a fist against the wall. If the choice was right, why was it so damn hard to make?
---
“Ok, class, I know it’s Monday and you all want to go back to sleep. But now is not the time to slack off. You guys will get it easy for the first minutes of class cuz me and Will are gonna spar. Pay attention.” Faith announced as she motioned for everybody to back away. She looked at Willow and noticed the distant look in the redhead’s demeanor. “Red?”
Willow looked up, her expression never changing, “Attack or block?”
“Block.”
Willow moved forward, faking a punch to the right and when Faith ducked to the left, she was on the receiving end of the kick that Willow sent in her direction. Faith stumbled back and looked up surprised, “Will, what are you doing?”
“Attacking,” She replied simply.
Faith’s brow furrowed in concentration but she didn’t have much to think when Willow came at her again. The punches kept coming, never stopping, left, right, left, right. Faith was so caught up in the blocking that she didn’t see Willow’s knee coming up, pushing her away. Before Faith could catch her balance, Willow did a roundhouse kick, sending Faith flying back onto the mat with a defeated ‘oomph.’
Willow wiped the sweat from her brow and looked at the rest of the class, “The attacks I just used were unexpected. This gave me the upper hand in the fi-“
Before Willow could finish the sentence she found herself sprawled on the mat. Faith stood over her body, smirking, “Nice try, Red. But you never gave me the chance to fight back.”
Willow did a back flip and looked Faith in the eye, “Let’s go.”
Faith threw a punch at Willow but she caught it and twisted the brunette’s arm. Faith kicked her in the knee and the redhead released her grip on her arm. Then, she kicked Willow in the chest, sending her stumbling back. Willow moved forward slowly, catching her breath. She dropped down onto the floor and kicked out her foot underneath Faith’s but the brunette jumped up just in time. Faith grabbed Willow’s feet and flipped her feet first. Willow caught her balance and managed to land on her feet without falling. Faith threw a blow at the redhead’s chest but she caught her in the arm, pulled her forward, effectively making the brunette losing her balance. Willow then took advantage of the brunette’s temporary state of weakness and flipped her onto her back.
She stood over Faith’s body, “I win.”
---
Willow sat outside, enjoying the cool breeze blowing over her overheated body. She closed her eyes, reveling in the feel when a voice suddenly demanded, “What the hell was *that*?”
The redhead looked at her and asked, “What do you mean?”
“What were you doing?”
“We were sparring, Faith.”
Faith looked at her and let out a small laugh, “Sparring in front of the class does not involve dirty tricks. You don’t use your street fighting skills when we spar in front of students. That’s not what we’re teaching.”
“Sore loser?”
The brunette backed away and glared at the redhead, “We’ve both lost our fights, Red. But, that’s not my point!”
“Isn’t it?”
“What the hell is wrong with you? Did William piss you off or something?”
“Nothing,” Willow said sharply, “*Nothing* is wrong.”
“Bullshit, Red.” Faith retorted, “I get that you don’t want to tell me but hell, don’t take it out on me for whatever fucked up mistakes he or *you* made in your relationship.” The brunette walked away before Willow could reply.
The redhead sat there, tears stinging her eyes. She refused to let Faith’s words get to her.
Chapter 13
“Faith?” Willow peeked into the exercise room, looking for the brunette.
“Yeah?” Faith didn’t look up from where she was sitting in a chair, reading over some papers.
“I’m sorry.”
Faith looked up, “Red, you don’t need to apologize to me. Half the time people do, they never mean it anyway.”
“I do mean it. I-I shouldn’t have done that. You’re right, I’m going through some problems right now and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
She sighed, “It was a two-way thing, Will, not completely your fault.” Faith studied the redhead for a moment, “What’s going on with you, Will? You’re not usually like this. You’ve gone through relationship problems before, especially through that whole Buffy period, but you guys got through it.”
Willow sat down on a beanbag chair and sighed, “Things are a bit different this time.”
“What is it, hun? You can tell me, that’s what I’m here for.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Willow,” Faith looked at her seriously, “You might be able to bullshit Xander and maybe even William but you can’t fool me. I see through you.”
The redhead smiled at her bluntness, “I’ve just been thinking a lot lately.”
“Bout what?”
Willow paused in her answer and then said softly, “Future regrets.”
“You know me, Will,” Faith started after a few moments of silence, “I’m usually not the kind to think now, act later. I go for it. And, yeah, that is fun at first but sometimes there are just consequences you have to deal with that you didn’t think you would have to before. But, you don’t want to over think it like you obviously are right now. Every decision comes with regrets, Red. That’s just the way life is. Just make sure you’re choosing what you really want and that it’ll be worth it.”
“But there are some things that you need to do because you have to, not because you want to.”
“I’m guessing whatever decision you have to make or had to make was a hard one. The hard ones are never fun. But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go along with it. Sometimes you just gotta buck up and deal with it. Life is hard, it involves choices, but hey, we all move on.”
Willow stared at Faith and made sure she worded her next words correctly, “So.. the regret.. it’ll fade over time, right?”
“Yeah, it will,” The brunette said with full confidence, “It has to.”
---
The hours passed by slowly. Willow tried to act as normally as she could, not wanting to arouse any suspicion in William but on Friday he confronted her.
They sitting together in silence, Willow sipping her hot tea and reading a book while William read a magazine. He tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair and looked up at her, seeing if he could catch her attention. After multiple tries at this, he finally gave up and cleared his throat. Still no reaction. She seemed to be lost in thought. Again.
“Willow?”
No answer.
“Willow?” After not receiving a response for the second time, he got up at tapped her on the shoulder.
She snapped back into reality with a, “Yeah?”
“You promised me before that you would never lie to me, remember?”
Willow looked at him with calm eyes though instinctively she began to scoot away out of nervousness, “Yeah.”
“Why do you keep breaking that promise?”
She looked at him for a moment before looking down at her lap, <how is it possible he can see through me so well?> The redhead got up and began to walk away, with her back turned, she answered, “I’m not.”
“Then why won’t you look me in the eye?” He asked and then added, “Turn around, Willow. Tell me to my face that I’m wrong.”
She turned around, met his gaze, and said with a shaky voice, “You’re wrong.”
“Am I?” With every step he took forward, she took one back. “What is it, Willow? Why are you running away from me?”
The reality in his words caused her to falter for a moment. “I’m-I’m not.”
“Willow, this is me. William. You can trust me. I love you. I could never hurt you.” He ran a hand through his hair, “The other day, I meant everything I said. I would never- I couldn’t.”
She heard the desperation in his voice and bit back the tears, knowing she had to do this, “Things are just complicated, William. You can’t expect me to tell you everything. Every couple has to have its secrets. This is one of them.”
“Why Willow? Just tell me why? Is it because you don’t trust me? You don’t love me?” He asked, looking more vulnerable then she’d ever seen him before.
“No,” she said sharply, “I *do* love you.” The tears began to leak out of her eyes, “So much, so much that it hurts. When I’m away from you, I feel like a part of me is gone. And there’s this emptiness inside me. But, when I’m with you, everything is perfect. And everything else that’s wrong with my world just fades away and there’s only you. It’s always you, only you. And it always will be.”
“Then what is it?”
“I can’t tell you.” She began to back away, holding her hands out, “Please, just, please, leave it at that.”
“Willow,” He moved forward again, confused by her movements, “Let me help.”
“The best thing you can do is just leave it.”
“Please,” William walked towards her at a faster pace.
She saw his speeded movements and backed up against the door, “Don’t.” The redhead was full out crying at this time, the sobs wracked her tiny frame.
William gathered her in his arms and rocked her, “Let me in, baby. I’ll always be here for you.”
She looked up at him with teary eyes and kissed him softly, “I love you.” Satisfied with the small smile that she got in return, she pushed him away forcefully and he stumbled back, confused. She yelled out, “Dispercese.” The force hit William and he sank onto the floor, unconscious.
Willow ran into the room, somehow making it there without falling. She collapsed onto the bed, sobbing. Through her tear-stained gaze, she grabbed the spell book, herbs, and candle. With one last look at William, she whispered, “I’m sorry.” And then closed the door with a click.
Chapter 14
She was shaking. There was no wind outside and it was warm. The sun was beginning to rise but she didn’t take any notice. She had been walking around the town for a couple hours, barely even noticing it. Her body was functioning on its own while her mind was elsewhere.
She hurt him. Emotionally and physically. This wasn’t how it was supposed to turn out. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was just a simple spell. Turn back time, prevent Buffy from coming back and therefore not causing the First to rise again. But, then everything just screwed up.
She told her secrets. First mistake.
She started becoming friends with Xander and Faith. Second mistake.
She grew closer to this Sunnydale’s Dawn. Third mistake.
But the worse of all, she gave her heart to William. And it wasn’t him that was tearing it out and stomping on it. It was her, she was the one who was causing all the pain.
A part of her was screaming out, ‘You can stop this. You don’t have to go back. They can deal, they’re strong enough.’ But, it just didn’t feel right. She couldn’t live with that her whole life.
Faith had said that pain from love and heartbreak would fade in time. She really hoped the brunette was right.
Willow glanced up and saw that by this time the sun had already risen. It was shining down on her, seemingly smiling at her. Without a reaction, she looked back down and continued walking.
---
“Yo, Willow, William, you guys, I’m back, Faith’s here too. You guys aren’t nekkid are ya?” Xander walked into the apartment yelling out his teasing words. He was about to start again when he noticed William’s unconscious body on the floor. “Holy crap! Will! Will!” Xander began shaking his best friend’s body frantically. “WILL!”
“Willow?” William moaned as his eyes fluttered open. He brought a hand up to his forehead, “Where is she?”
“Will, man, what happened to you?”
“Where is she?”
“Who, Willow? She’s not here.” Xander looked to Faith who was looking around the house, trying to find sign of anybody.
“We have to find her,” William said decidedly, “We have to find her now.”
“Dude, what happened?”
William looked at him with sad eyes, “She wasn’t lying.”
“About what?” Xander asked confused.
“Remember that story I told you about how she was acting a bit off?”
“You mean when you said that she thought she was from another Sunnydale?”
William nodded.
“She wasn’t lying about that?”
William shook his head in response, “We have to find her. She’s going to do something.”
Faith leaned against the wall and whispered shakily, “She’s going to go back.”
“What?” William demanded, “How do you know?”
“Xander told me about what happened.” Faith began and then quickly added, “I already figured most of it out, I’m not as dense as everyone thinks I am. He filled in the rest of the holes.” Faith sighed, “Willow was talking to me about it the other day. Not the exact topic but she said something about future regrets and making tough choices. She was really frustrated and she just took it all out on me. I knew something was off.”
“She is,” William sighed, “That was why she wanted to make sure that I knew she would always love me.” He looked up sadly, “Where’s Dawn?”
“We just dropped her off at Janice’s. She’s staying there the whole weekend. Something about a school project.” Faith answered.
William looked around, “We have to find her.”
“And do what?” Xander asked, “What can we possibly do?”
“We can stop her.”
“Why were you unconscious?” The young man asked suddenly.
“She-She.. threw something at me. I think it was a spell or something like that.”
“Right, well, if she’s really this almighty witch, what makes you think we can actually stop her?”
“We have to try!” William nearly yelled. “I can’t give her up. I can’t lose her!”
Faith looked sadly at William, “She didn’t want to make this choice, Will. Maybe it’s best if you just let her go. You know she wouldn’t do this unless she had to.”
“She doesn’t know what she’s thinking. She’s not stable. She’s making the wrong choice!” William said desperately, “Please, Xan. You have to help me.” He paused and then whispered, “I can’t live without her.”
Xander gave William a hug and patted him on the back, “I’m sorry.”
William pushed himself out of his arms and stared at him with a look of disbelief.
“I’m sorry,” Xander said again.
Faith looked at William and tried once more, “William, don’t.”
“No! I’m not going to give her up that easily.” He stalked to the door, opened it and with his back turned against them he said, “I love her. That’s worth everything.”
Chapter 15
Willow watched the sun slowly set and hung onto the image of that last glimpse of its rays. She didn’t want today to end. Despite the pain, she knew that when the sun set and the moon came up in it’s place, things would change. Then, for sure, she would leave. Leave Faith. Leave Xander. Leave Dawn. Leave William.
Blocking out her thoughts, she headed towards the Summers’ house, silently praying that nobody would be there. The spell had to be done in the place where she first arrived in the dimension.
As the house came into view, she couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. The tears began to bunch again at the corners of her eyes. She swallowed and closed her eyes tightly, not allowing herself to cry. She couldn’t, she didn’t have time. She couldn’t fail. Things had to work out. This was the way things had to be.
She opened the door, walking inside, and let out a sigh of relief when she saw nothing but darkness. She was alone.
---
William stalked the streets of Sunnydale, looking from left to right, not caring about anything else. He had to find her. He couldn’t lose another person from his life. Suddenly, he stopped walking, feeling something wash over him. The feeling was familiar on a certain level but he couldn’t place exactly what it was.
“Home.”
He whipped his head around when he heard the voice. His blue eyes skimmed the area, finding nobody suspicious. He looked up and for a second, was lost in the paleness of the moon. Reminding him of the glow that Willow had when she was under the moonlight. That night, at the beach when she was staring into the sky, just watching it. Thinking.
“Go.”
William turned around again. What the hell was messing with him? Had he really pushed himself over the edge? Why was he hearing voices and who the hell was it? He continued to look around, not caring if he looked ridiculous to others. “Who are you?” He yelled.
“Go. Go to her.”
William froze. Somebody knew. What was going on? Was it a spirit? Was it God? What the hell?! Giving up rational thought, he focused his mind on only one thing, “Where?”
“Home.”
His thoughts raced, where was home? He couldn’t make a mistake about this. Somewhere deep inside, he just knew that if he made a wrong turn here, he would fail. Where did she consider home? Buffy. The Summers’ house. That was where she was.
With this newfound knowledge, he ran towards the location, not caring about anything else. Nothing else mattered. Not the pain in his heart, in his body, in his mind. The only thing in focus was her. It was always her.
---
She looked around her room and rechecked everything. The door was locked, the circle of herbs was perfectly placed, and the candle was laid in the middle of the circle along with a lighter. Everything was ready. All she needed to do was begin.
With shaky hands, she grabbed the lighter and lit the candle. She had to do this.
“Autem Achere Desidio Raynhe”
A force, a barrier of sorts began to grow around her and she felt it all around her.
“Nazel Acclinis Lyreo”
She felt the power begin to enter her and dropped the candle. It floated in front of her. Opening her eyes, she saw the barrier, the hazy images, and… William.
---
By the time he got the house, he noticed a light shining out of Willow’s room. Something about it told him that it wasn’t normal. Running into the house, he bounded up the stairs and tried to open the door. Locked.
“NO!” He yelled. “No, not now!” He began to ram his right side into the wooden barrier. He couldn’t let something as simple as a door stand in his way. He was beyond pain, beyond rational thought; the only thing that mattered was getting inside because she was there. With a renewed faith, he rammed into it once more. One second, he was outside the room and the next he was lying on the ground, ignoring everything else except her. She was like a Goddess. Lifted up in air with swirling lights surrounding her. She was so beautiful.
He caught her eye and with a groan, he pushed himself up to his feet and ran towards the barrier. When he reached it, it threw him back a few feet but he caught himself before he fell. He couldn’t get through to her. She was only a few feet away but it seemed like a million miles.
Finally letting the tears slip he yelled desperately, “Willow, please. Don’t do this. Don’t leave me.”
Chapter 16
William. He was there. Standing, looking as gallant as ever. She faltered for a moment, the barrier’s force fading slightly and took in his handsome face. The love in his eyes that were tinted with desperation. For a moment, she wanted nothing more then to drop her hands and stop the spell, but she couldn’t. She had to do this.
She brought her hands together, ignoring his pleading calls. Closing her eyes, she gritted her teeth together and forced herself not to care. Not caring about the fact he was standing a few feet away from her, professing his love. Not caring that she was giving up the one thing that she truly loved in her entire existence to do the right thing. Not caring that in a way, she was destroying a part of herself.
“Crilina Maiset Audetem Lenise”
She raised her hands up and felt the power consume her entirely, pushing away everything else she was feeling. She opened her eyes once more and saw him, standing there still, never wavering, the defeat evident in his eyes.
“I love you.” She managed to say before everything around her began to swirl into black.
---
Willow opened her eyes, unclear as to what had happened. She couldn’t remember anything. Where was she? *Who* was she?
Her green eyes opened and she registered the familiar surroundings. She stood up but immediately regretted it when she felt everything spin around her. She was weak, fatigued. Confusion covered her and she looked down at her hands and caught a glimmer of light reflected from the moon.
She looked at the ring on her finger and twisted it, reading the words. ‘True Love Waits.’
Suddenly, everything hit her at once. The spell, Buffy, William. The way he looked that night. The sound of his voice. She couldn’t breathe. The sobs that wracked through her were too painful. Pushing herself off the bed, she gripped the table that was in front of her and saw a picture of her and Tara together. She opened one of the drawers. It was filled with bottles of holy water, crosses, spellbooks, and stakes. She was home.
She let go and fell to her knees. Rolling her hands into fists she pounded against the side of the mattress, trying to get all the feeling out of her. She didn’t want to feel so much. She wanted it all to just go away. She wasn’t supposed to feel this much. It wasn’t possible. It shouldn’t be.
Getting off the floor, she pushed herself onto the bed again. She got under the covers and closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to be barricaded by memories and images of.. him. Still crying, she tried to go to sleep.
But, she didn’t.
She continued to cry for the next hour, her sobs going from loud to soft. Soon, they grew to a quiet gasping.
Again, she closed her eyes, hoping to block everything away. After a few more minutes, she finally drifted off to sleep due to the lack of energy in her weak body.
Maybe, tomorrow, things would be fine again.
~Fin~